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Reads 150
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Review of Frozen
by billy osmond
Posted on July 19th, 2018
Positive 7
Overall Rating
i must have a frozen heart to not score this perfectly, even though there is a warmth to my coldness. without the song and dance numbers, frozen is a solid 4.5 star. but i have to deduct a full star because i can't stand musicals. now, that's not saying the musical acts are poor, they're actually some of the best i have seen comedy and story wise, and are actually implemented non-jarringly. you just have to understand my hatred for this style. i will say that the olaf song about summer, is one of the most genius ways of displaying naivety and the opening is a perfect introduction to the frozen world. i would have personally preferred it with less of the ballads though. i want to hug all of the main characters here, especially anna. she's a no holds barred cutie, olaf is blistering with positivity, elsa has a solidarity that's unique, kristoff is a breath of fresh air while also being a breath of stench air... pee-u, sven is a complimentary second cousin to the perfect maximus of tangled, which leaves hans. my only negative is the tired twist of hans. how can you make a wittingly romantic song and dance about anna & hans finishing each other's sandwiches, and then turn it on its bread.... yummm, i mean head. there's no way everyone who watched this for the first time didn't want these two to hook up, why couldn't kristoff be with elsa or no one for that matter, seems forced. they need to make a frozen/tangled crossover. the stabbington brothers and hans are actually biological brothers who round up the rest of their 12 redheaded brothers to enact revenge. i'm being chillingly serious here, this makes perfect sense. the worlds are identical and literally next door to each other. they could call it something like "a frozen love tangle" or some shit.
billy osmond

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