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I have left the cinema baffled and unable to form a coherent opinion. Instead, some burning questions:
-Why doesn't a character ask another character if they have the Need for Speed?
-How can this impoverished garage afford fucking planes?
-What on earth is Imogen Poots doing in this movie?
-Why is sexual assault played as a joke?
-What happened to Aaron Paul's ability to act?
-Seriously, what on earth is Imogen Poots doing in this movie?
-Who listened to the soundtrack to Moneyball and thought it was a perfect fit for video game car movies?
-How are you meant to take a film seriously after the EA logo comes up?
-Why doesn't someone whisper "challenge everything?"
-SERIOUSLY, IMOGEN POOTS IS CHANNELLING BRITISH FRANCES HA AND IT'S LEGITIMATELY EXCELLENT BUT THEN THIS IS THE MOVIE SHE'S SOMEHOW IN SOMEONE EXPLAIN?!
-Why, in 2014 would someone want their callsign to be Maverick?
-Why would they cut out the duuuuumb prayer that made the first trailer so amazing?
-What in the hell were they thinking making the emotional core of the film the most insufferable, punchable character ever?
-Okay no, I don't think I've been clear enough about how baffling Imogen Poots is in this movie. Her character isn't exactly written well but I wasn't kidding when she's basically British Frances Ha and then the movie wants you to find her annoying but you're all no you guys are gross bros, stop being gross, let the woman be, and then she's obviously falling in love with the uncharismatic husk they clearly got to replace aaron paul, and you're like HOW DID THIS HAPPEN DID THEY WATCH THE DAILIES WHAT IS GOING ON I AM SO CONFUSED.
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