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watched the composite cut and boy howdy this is just a total z-grade trashterpiece the likes of samurai cop. it's been a long time since i've seen something fail this spectacularly at being a movie, but succeed so peerlessly at entertaining me. george chung writes - no wait, scratch that - is himself as "ryan," an obnoxious karate kid who sorta looks and totally talks like napoleon dynamite, and gets hit in the nose a lot as a running "gag."
the "plot" as it goes here has something to do with a group of chill bros fighting a group of not-so-chill bros (lead by richard norton) over some sacred statues or whatever. i don't know, they clearly made every single minute of this movie up on the spot and it becomes this weird, but fascinating mix of feeling over-scripted, yet at the same time aimlessly goofing off.
cynthia rothrock comes in at the half-hour mark to train ryan for a big showdown with the not-so-chill bros, suffer a slew of sexist remarks from her new student, and then proceeds to wipe the floor with his ass. chuck jeffreys is also in this as part of ryan's crew and he is his usual delightful self, and i have no way of confirming this but it sure sounds like him doing the vocals on the amazing r&b-type songs that are used throughout the movie. most notably during one of many pointless montages that sees george chung doing fighty moves in front of a pink convertible in some carhole somewhere.
another perk of watching the composite edit (which is on youtube) is that because it's using footage from 2 versions of the movie, you'll sometimes get a prompt saying "or this happened" and you'll get an alternative plot point.. such as, uh... a slightly slowed down version of a guy getting punched in the head? i like to think however that this was how the movie was always intended to be viewed, and it is the future of cinema.
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