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quick hit: ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...
no really, what the hell was that? remember the inanity of robot heaven in transformers: revenge of the fallen, where sam whitwicky got brought back to life by transformer angels? that was absolutely grounded in reality compared to this story where the transformers are revealed to be part of arthurian legend and the allies in world war ii, and there's some nonsense about poor laura haddock's inappropriately-dressed english lit professor being merlin's heir. and that's before we get into optimus prime's half-assed turn into a bad guy, an entire story arc that could have been its own batshit crazy movie but is instead largely tacked into the final, forty-five minute-long act. (breaking news: michael bay still can't properly pace a transformers film to save his life.)
this is everything bad about the previous transformers films, amplified by the worst dialogue i've heard in a mainstream movie in some time. people talk about the fast & furious franchise being dumb, but it's doing quantum physics by comparison and is at least fun.
transformers: the last knight remains hamstrung by bay's obsession with the same low-angle action shots, character arcs that are embarrassingly bad and way too much plot for a movie this brain-dead.
yeah, fuck this movie.
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