The Vampire Diaries
Automatically track what you’re watching
Join a community with a new generation of fans
Join the community
Please enter all the fields
Please enter a correct Email
Yahoo emails are not allowed
This Email is already registered in Simkl
Name too short
Password is too short
You can choose a password length of not more than 50 characters. Do not forget to switch keyboard layout to the English. Do not choose a password too simple, less then 4 characters, because such a password is easy to find out. Allowed latin and !@#$%^&*()_-+=., characters
Create Free Account
Already have an account?  Enter  
Back
Welcome back!
Please enter all the fields
Incorrect login or password entered
Sign In
Forgot your password?
Don’t have an account?  Create Account  
Back
Forgot your password?
Please enter your Email
This Email is not registered in Simkl
Failed to send email, try again later
Don't worry. It's easy to reset.

Please enter your Simkl username or E-mail from your account to start the password recovery process.
Reset Password
We have sent instructions to the email address you provided during signup. Please follow the link from the email to continue.
Back

TOP

JOIN SIMKL
Reads 155
Total reads

/movies/63420/the-return
Review of The Return
by JP Paxton
Posted on October 9th, 2019
Neutral 1
Overall Rating
 
+
i think a round of applause is in order for whoever pieced together the trailer for rogue pictures' latest release, 'the return'. i myself, along with everyone else have been duped into believing it is in fact a horror film. on the contrary though, its actually a supernatural thriller. too bad it is not the least bit thrilling. 'the return' stars sarah michelle gellar as joanna mills, a young woman who has had personal problems since the age of eleven. it was at that age that she began having haunting visions depicting the murder of a woman whom she has never met. while in texas on a business trip, she is led by these visions to the murdered woman's hometown, la salle. there she comes face to face with another person who has frequently appeared in her visions. a man by the name of terry stahl, who is played by peter o'brien. joanna is now on a desperate search for answers. a search that could in the end result in her very own murder. i really don't know where to begin here folks. which should i mention first? the atrocious acting, hideous directing, or the terribly bland story? no matter which one i choose my point behind each is the same: they simply suck. adam sussman's screenplay is downright moronic. it's not interesting. it's not compelling. it's just plain unpleasant. i kept waiting for something to jump-start the "film" (i've placed quotations around film because i don't believe 'the return' deserves to be called an actual film due to its foulness.) and at least give it some slight chance of hope, but nothing ever happened. i was left out in an unbearable cold to freeze. not even stellar performances from the actors themselves could have saved this disaster. of course they probably knew this having read the script then agreeing to do the "film". i assume this is why the acting was so awful. at least that's what i'm choosing to believe. i really hope the cast doesn't pride themselves on their performances. they need immediate medical attention if they do. now the directing was unmistakably bad, but i can't quite crucify asif kapadia entirely. (well i could, but i won't since i'm such a nice guy.) i look at 'the return' as a test for kapadia because for all of you that don't know, this is his first full-length feature "film". he's just getting his foot in the door and still learning. next time around, well if there is a next time, hopefully he will have improved vastly. the only thing he was able to accomplish here was almost completely duplicating the visual style of marcus nispel's 2003 remake of 'the texas chainsaw massacre'. now that's nice the "film" was given that, but unfortunately he still won't be receiving any kudos from me for that. copying someone else's work isn't something i consider to be praise worthy. (even if it is from a film i very much enjoyed.) i think jim sonzero's american re-make of 'pulse' will now have to fork over the title of worst film of the year to 'the return'. it beyond question is deserving of the title in almost every imaginable way. now i don't doubt this will make a small, and i mean very small, profit. no matter what though, it won't surpass or even parallel the fluke success of gellar's previous acting effort, 'the grudge'. on that note, there's one last thing i'd like to add. i can honestly say i had never been embarrassed to have been seen leaving a theater auditorium until seeing 'the return'. that is something i never wish to experience again, along with the "film" itself. - originally written on november 11, 2006
JP Paxton
Follow


Was this review helpful to you?
Yes
No
 
Add Comments
 
Newest Oldest Top Replies Top comments Top Memos Most Helpful Most Likes
Add Comment
 
Topic
 
Photo, Meme or GIF
 
Video
 
  ?
Drop image files here or click to upload
max 10MB photo or 2MB GIF
 
Add photo or GIF from web

How to add photo or GIF from web:

You can paste URL of the image inside your comment and it will be automatically converted into the image when reading the comment.
 
Find a GIF
 
Create a Meme

How to add a video:

To add a video paste video url directly into your comment. Example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7L2PVdrb_8.
Do not post links to copyrighted video content (TV Episodes, Movies). Share them privately if needed.
English only please.  Home rules.
 
POST COMMENT
 




Share this page with your friends and followers:
Get VIP
Become a Pro or a VIP member
and unlock premium perks
Become beta tester
Get access to the next version of Simkl V2
Apps
Simkl has apps for Android, iOS, Chrome,
Windows, Kodi, Plex and more!

Simkl automatically tracks what you’re watching, tells you how many episodes you’ve missed, recommends what to watch next based on your watch history, and connects you to what your friends are into.

The best way to keep track of your favorite TV shows!

Get alerted when new episodes of your favorite TV shows air!

Get personalized recommendations on what to watch!

125,168 TV Shows
13,472 Anime
878,027 Movies
3,300,309 Members
COMMUNITY
Simkl is nothing without you
Give feedback on Discord or Twitter, improve your Simkl skills through tutorials.
IMDB
Tutorials
Explore our tutorials to enhance your understanding of how to keep track of your watch history on Simkl.
What is Simkl?
Twitter
Twitter
Stay updated with Simkl on Twitter for the latest product developments and other interesting news about TV Shows and Movies.
Follow @Simkl
Discord
Discord
Chat with the Simkl team and fellow Simkl members. The ultimate community experience.
Join our Discord
Start tracking what you watch
Sign Up with Google
Sign Up with Email
MADE WITH ♥ IN NYC & UA
© 2024. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.