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Joe Bob Briggs, and tonight, Embrace of the Vampire, the 1994 masterpiece in which the virginal but very hot Alyssa Milano plays a co-ed who the local vampire recognizes as the reincarnation of his old girlfriend. And you know what that means. Because what are the seven most dreaded words in the history of civilization? Of course, you know what I'm talking about. "I need to talk about the relationship."
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